Opinion: Solutions

How to get parents on board with your behaviour policy

Aligning policy and parental expectations is vital in ensuring a behaviour policy is well supported at home and ultimately successful

Aligning policy and parental expectations is vital in ensuring a behaviour policy is well supported at home and ultimately successful

23 Oct 2024, 5:00

Parents have their own view of behaviour in your school well before they get sight of your policy.

The history of your school runs deeper than the latest name change or a new set of shiny-suited leaders. It is etched deep within the community. It rings through the local taxi company, the chats over frothy coffee and every antisocial media source.

Parents’ view of behaviour in your school also depends on their own experience. They may have attended your school and have very fixed attitudes towards it. Their experience may be affecting their desire to get involved at all, especially if it didn’t go well the first time.

Chunk it up

Not many people will have read the behaviour policy in full. I include teachers in that. The first few pages are generally guff. Worthy guff, but everyone skips past that to get to the ‘What do I do when…?’ bit.

Most parents won’t read the behaviour policy at all until their child falls foul of it. It would help if you chunked it up, and gave it to them gradually in tasty nibbles: start of the day, positive noticing, three rules, one new routine, and consequences.

Give them the time to understand each element and to see how it works. One idea at a time, drip-fed over the first term is manageable. A 32-page policy written in eduspeak is not.  

Each strand of the policy has a ripple effect on the home. Let parents and carers know how to support and be specific:

  • “Can you notice three positive decisions your child makes today?”
  • “We are doing meet-and-greet. Please practice the handshake at home tonight.”
  • “We are focusing on ‘Ready’ next week. Can you give your child three examples of ‘Ready’ this weekend please?”.

If parents know what actions to take to support, they will. If they feel they are not involved they will be surprised when you ask for their help further down the line.

Make it make sense 

If your behaviour policy is aggressively controlling, goes against common sense and is designed to scare off children with additional needs, there is no honest way to sell this to parents.

Likewise, if you tell me that I must buy branded socks, email me every time my child goes for a wee and dedicate resources to keeping children in isolation boxes, then you will turn supporters into adversaries very quickly.

The behaviour policy must make sense, otherwise the school, parents and community are pulled apart. Inclusive behaviour policies mean that children with additional needs and their parents feel safe.

Your parent body and your community are also diverse and have their own additional needs. By dismissing the needs of children, you dismiss the community and distance yourself from more parents. 

Work with, not against

The very best way to get the support of parents is to consult with them, especially if your school has a wobbly history.

Give them every opportunity to contribute and then confect a few opportunities to get them in and talking. Events that are seemingly unconnected with their child (eg. bingo or cookery classes) can build currency and generate great discussions.

Once you have them talking, listen to them – hard! This can’t be a consultation that goes through the motions for form. Grow your policy with parents from its foundations and they will not only understand your decisions but actively support them. 

The same goes for changes to your behaviour policy. Keep Parents informed regularly, let them know the effect the changes are having and thank them for their support and help.

Let them feel important and part of the team around their child. You can’t please every parent, but you can involve them all – and keep them involved even if the consultation didn’t go their way. 

Send positive notes, make positive phone calls, call round for a Hot Chocolate Friday at home.

Your school’s reputation for behaviour is built one relationship at a time. The graft is long and hard, but the prize is proper teamwork. It is at that point that everything changes.

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