For children experiencing Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA), the groundwork for a successful return to school in September starts now.
New data from the department for education shows that over 18 per cent of pupils are persistently absent. For many, absence isn’t rooted in defiance or disengagement but emotional overwhelm.
In these cases, summer (often framed as a time to reset) can in fact deepen this distress. Loss of routine, predictable adult support and peer connection can cause anxiety to soar and heighten feelings of disconnection – all of which can turn the September return into a mountain they simply can’t climb.
EBSA is not about unwillingness. It is an emotionally driven difficulty attending school that often affects neurodivergent pupils or those with sensory processing needs, trauma histories or heightened anxiety.
These children are not ‘refusing’ school. This is beyond their control. They want to engage but can’t without the right emotional and practical scaffolding.
School is not just a place of learning; for many children, it offers stability, social connection and a sense of identity. For pupils with EBSA, the summer break can strip away these important anchors.
Using the 3C’s framework to support children and families over the summer can mitigate this.
Connect
Teachers and TAs often tell us they feel unsure how to help over the holidays, but small, consistent efforts at personal connection can help children maintain a sense of belonging and have a big impact.
For example:
- Send a short email or message acknowledging the child’s progress this year
- Share a familiar routine or classroom photo to remind them of positive experiences
- Include parents in brief planning calls to discuss September transitions
Parents can also reinforce a child’s sense of connection, but may need help to do so.
Remind them to be curious about and engage in their child’s world. Encourage them to practice what they preach, for example with regards to screen time. And support them where possible to organise playdates before the holidays begin to keep social ties alive.
Co-regulate
Helping children regulate their emotions is not about fixing their distress but meeting it calmly and consistently. Parents can prepare over the summer by creating “calm kits” with sensory tools, visual timetables, or breathing strategies.
Schools can support this by:
- Sharing personalised regulation strategies with parents before the term ends
- Offering advice on re-establishing sleep-wake routines
- Encouraging families to explore quiet spaces in the school during open days or holiday clubs
At home, encourage parents to create familiar, predictable routines, similar to the school day (including mealtimes) and to prioritise time together to reduce anxiety and build emotional safety.
Co-reflect
For children with EBSA, planning should feel collaborative, not imposed. Schools can help families identify what support works best by creating one-page profiles, using strengths-based language, and taking a flexible approach to reintegration.
In doing so, ask reflective, open-ended questions like “What parts of the day feel hardest?” and “What do you need to feel safe enough to try school again?”
And at home, encourage gentle problem-solving conversations like “What do you find difficult at school?” and “Could we practice it together?”
Avoid rigid timelines. September doesn’t have to mean full-time from day one. A phased return, with flexible starts and named adults on hand, often results in better long-term outcomes.
It can be challenging to recognise when a child may need specialist support. However, panic, shutdowns or meltdowns at the mention of school, frequent physical complaints with no known medical cause and marked differences in behaviour between home and school can be early signs.
In these cases, early intervention is key. Involving a multi-disciplinary team including psychology, occupational therapy and speech and language therapy can provide the therapeutic support needed to bridge the gap back to learning.
July is a great time to start building that bridge. Share tips from our free downloadable EBSA guide with families. Nominate a named adult for each at-risk child to maintain contact over the summer. Communicate with pastoral leads and SENCOs about flexible September plans.
And most importantly, celebrate progress rather than focusing on the challenges.
On teenagers wellbeing. I think they should be taught important life skills. How to sleep properly!
And how to understand their mental thought process.
School staff deserve a break and should not be required to maintain contact with families during their unpaid holidays, which they already work too much of. And as for other services for early intervention…..that’s a joke. We are literally laughed at asking for support for EBSA pupils and have zero capacity to provide this level of support. The sheer number of children presenting with needs, a lack of appropriate parenting, boundaries and encouragement in most of these cases and simply not enough funding to effectively function makes this impossible. Named adults for contact over the summer?! Even if we had enough, we’re not paid to do that!! Schools cannot be expected to fix everything and are already doing too much, leading to high stress, burnout and ever increasing expectations of parents. Where are other services while this is going on? Oh yes, signposting and making “suggestions” back to school staff- just like this author. Clearly no clue what is happening in schools or that this is beyond unrealistic.