Parents and schools want the same thing: the best for children. Yet misunderstandings, unmet expectations or a lack of clarity can create tension, and tension too often escalates into formal complaints.
New complaints guidance for schools and parents has been published today, and the education secretary has signalled a desire to reset parent–school relationships in the forthcoming white paper.
Both developments are welcome. But if we are serious about reducing complaints and rebuilding trust, we need to address a root cause sitting beneath policy and process: communication.
Working closely with hundreds of schools means we have a unique view of complaints.
When we scratch beneath the surface, we often find patterns of initially poor communication, about even relatively straightforward matters, snowballing into tricky, complex, persistent and vexatious complaints.
Of course, there are valid grounds for some complaints. And there are some parents who will never be satisfied regardless.
But schools can do more than respond as best they can to parental concerns. With better communication, many issues can be pre-empted before they escalate in the first place.
Why communication matters
When communication breaks down, trust erodes.
Periods of change are particularly sensitive, becoming flashpoints for tension. Parents are more likely to accept decisions when they understand the reasoning.
Whether it is a change to a behaviour policy, uniform, teacher or facilities, explaining the why matters just as much as setting out the what.
Being upfront about the rationale (and its impact on children’s wellbeing, learning or school culture) helps parents see the bigger picture and reduces resistance.
Sometimes leaders believe they have communicated clearly. But tone, timing, jargon or confusing wording mean the message does not land as intended. Communication needs to be strategic.
While the complaints system can be improved, preventing escalation in the first place is more powerful.
Too many complaints intensify because parents don’t feel heard early enough. Often the issue is not hostility, but a sense of being left out of the loop. Acknowledging concerns, even where schools cannot meet every request, can significantly lower the temperature.
It’s also important to resist the temptation to default to blame.
However challenging a situation feels, defensiveness rarely helps. As the new guidance rightly emphasises, empathy is a practical tool for de-escalation and often parents just want to feel heard and acknowledged.
Clarity matters too. Parents are not education specialists, so jargon or acronyms only add confusion. Plain, accessible language builds understanding and trust.
Good communication can feel time-consuming in already stretched schools.
But investing effort upstream saves far more time, energy and stress later. Building clear, thoughtful communication into everyday practice strengthens relationships before breaking point.
Complaints in the age of AI
A newer challenge is the growing use of AI by parents to draft complaints.
These letters can be lengthy, legalistic and intimidating. The instinct may be to respond point-by-point in kind, perhaps even using AI in return. That is rarely effective.
What de-escalates complaints is not formality, but humanity. Warmth, empathy and reassurance always outperform an impersonal or technical response.
Equally, when staff feel personally attacked, responding emotionally can inflame matters. Taking a step back, sometimes drawing on external perspective, can help maintain proportion and focus on resolution, whilst maintaining authenticity.
Practical steps schools can take
- Communicate early and often, sharing positive updates as well as difficult news
- Always explain “why”, particularly around change
- Avoid jargon and keep language accessible
- Make contact easy with clear signposting on your website
- Stay measured and professional. Avoid point-by-point responses to long letters as these can risk escalation
- Keep responses human, empathetic and calm
- Find ways to bring parents on the journey of change with you, through consultation or co-creation
Moving forward
There is growing recognition that strong communication underpins successful parent–school relationships. Effective schools do more than transmit information, they build understanding and trust. That investment pays dividends when challenges arise.
By placing communication at the heart of engagement – explaining decisions clearly, listening carefully and responding with empathy and understanding – schools can reduce complaints, support staff wellbeing and, most importantly, focus their efforts on enabling children to thrive.
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