The most helpful thing for young people is authenticity in our responses and genuine curiosity about the challenges, writes Dr Helen Care.
The Online Safety Act (OSA), which came into effect in July this year, made headlines.
Rightly so. Many of us, as parents/carers, healthcare professionals and educators, are concerned about what our young people might be exposed to online and have become frightened of social media, focusing on its dangers.
However, young people are telling a different story.
The OSA was designed to limit access to the most harmful content, such as self-harm and pornography.
Young people don’t disagree with this aim, but they do get frustrated with many of the narratives that focus solely on the negative aspects and ignore the things they find helpful about the online world.
Students tell me their biggest sources of stress are not tied to social media, but instead to their futures: the environment, job security, world conflict.
This is reflected elsewhere: the annual Pearson School Report, for example, found that while 57 per cent of teachers cite social media as the top pressure on students, only 16 per cent of secondary students say it worries them.
A quarter name “uncertainty about my future” as their biggest concern, 31 per cent are worried about getting a job, and 26 per cent point to school expectations and academic performance as their main pressures.
Lack of awareness causes frustration
The gap between student and teacher perceptions of stressors is important. A lack of awareness causes frustration and miscommunication on both sides, making young people less likely to seek support and adults feel less confident giving it.
For most young people I speak to, social media can be a useful way of feeling connected to friends.
The pressures of social media for them come from the day-to-day interactions with ‘normal’ content: the pressure to keep up streaks and message friends daily; the pressure to spend real money to restore streaks if they’re lost; managing other people’s responses to their posts.
In my experience, the most helpful thing for young people is authenticity in our responses and genuine curiosity about the challenges they face.
Here are some tips for how to take this approach…
1. Help them feel safe to air concerns
Don’t assume what they are worried about – ask. When discussing social media, start with open questions that don’t presume it’s always bad. Some possible opening questions:
“How do you find social media? What’s good or bad about it? What issues have you come across?”
“If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what advice would you give about using social media?”
“I have a young child at home. Do you think I should let them use social media?”
2. Empower yourself with the knowledge about practical steps that can help
For example, how to turn off comments or block messages.
Get students to identify solutions that have worked for them – perhaps creating a top-tips list (which could be shared or put on a poster).
3. As with any difficult topic, tread carefully
It often helps to ask for questions to be submitted anonymously and in advance.
Choose which you will answer beforehand, or you can guarantee you’re going to pull out the most inappropriate question that’s only there to get a laugh.
4. Be prepared for concerns to be raised and take them seriously
We cannot stress the harms of social media and then risk students feeling like their concerns are dismissed as ‘petty’ squabbles on a group chat.
Provide safe ways for students to ask for and receive support.
An example that’s worked well in some schools is a box for discreet requests for help.
5. Take a whole-school approach
We all know the pressure teachers can be under to fill all the gaps.
Safety and safeguarding are part of a wider culture (and responsibility), and it’s important that teachers also feel supported and know who they can report concerns to if issues are raised.
Ultimately, the best way to support young people is simple: listen to them, trust them and meet them where they are.
Your thoughts